Born and Raised in Black and White

I came into the presence of Wisdom in January and she showed me a big root that was being dug out. The below is part of that excavation to teach me compassion.

In June (gay pride month) of this year, I came across a post that a minister put on Facebook. The post read “This is the number of times Jesus condemned someone for their sexuality”. Of course the number was “0”. It frustrated me because Jesus did speak out against sin. When He approached the adulterous woman about to be stoned, He wrote something in the dirt. Whatever He wrote turned the accusers away. He advised the woman to go forth and sin no more. Sexual sin is sin, no matter how you cut it.

I wanted to fight to defend that the Bible condemns sin and, in this particular instance, homosexuality. I relate most to the definition of sin as being anything that creates a veil between us and God. My responses on social media were angry. I stand by that homosexuality is a barrier to a relationship with God. However, that same thing can be applied to sinful heterosexual relationships and the other sins that contaminate in the world.

My point to the above, is during this period of theological discussion, God started working on a root within me. There was a man that replied to the post who’s name happened to be Jared Lee….my first and middle name. He responded with “When you post things like this, please consider the person….” I was emotionally triggered by the gay pride post…he was triggered by my mechanical response of showing how scripture states otherwise. I felt a twinge in my heart at that moment.

The man went on to describe how he had prayed that God would take his homosexual feelings away. He wanted nothing more than to be normal and to not “burn in hell”. I imagined this teenage boy praying in church for God to take his sin away and the condemnation he received from his parents and church. God setup circumstances to teach me compassion.

I happened to be in my garage listening around the same time to a song by The Highwaymen called “Born and Raised in Black and White.” It’s a tale of 2 brothers raised by the same parents that turned out completely different. This divine timing resulted in the spirit coming over me to write the below:

1 boy grew up and was traumatized at a young age. His friends thought it was funny to call him gay, homo, and queer all through school. He got into fights, into trouble, and was generally wreckless. He was running from something. He played with guns and strived to be loved by his dad.

He grew up angry, manly, drank excessively, promiscuous with women, and watched porn to run from the cruel words he grew up hearing.

He gets triggered into anger every time he sees a gay pride post in fear of the same words/trauma that hurt him as a boy.

His preacher told him the rainbow belonged to God and not the LGBTQ community.

1 boy grew up, was traumatized, nerdy and a book worm. He got called all the same names. Instead of being wreckless, he grew more feminine, becoming the words he was called, and hung out with his mom/girls to feel safe from the cruel world. He played with books.

He attempted suicide several times and sought the attention of broken men that his absent father didn’t provide.

He gets triggered by angry men in fear of the same words/trauma he experienced as a boy.

His preacher told him to repent or he would go to hell.

There’s nothing prideful about the wounds that formed the angry man and the gay man.

Both have triggers to their trauma. One fights and runs, the other freezes and fawns.

Everyone deserves a savior and to be loved.

We all need delivered from something including our own emotional triggers. The Lord can and will do it. We need to be patient and compassionate to others. Religious people are the folks Jesus condemned in the scriptures. We can become the very thing He condemned….religious and not compassionate.

I repented to the Lord for my lack of compassion and He rewarded me the following morning by lifting me up in the spirit during prayer. What a wonderful God we serve!

“My dearest brothers and sisters, take this to heart: Be quick to listen, but slow to speak. And be slow to become angry,”
‭‭James 1:19‬ ‭TPT‬‬

For men’s hearts are just like the soil that drinks up the showers which often fall upon it. Some soil will yield crops as God’s blessing upon the field.  But if the field continues to produce only thorns and thistles a curse hangs over it and it will be burned. Hebrews 6:7-8 TPT